You Were Right JayZ

I think I was in college when Jay Z's Kingdom Come album came out. I remember hearing the song 30 Something, laughing because I thought the only people who claim 30 is the new 20 are the old heads who are 30 and wish they were 20.  It really wasn't until a couple months ago that I realized what those lyrics really meant. 

I have never dreaded getting older.  I can attribute that to my mom who always embraced her age. Now she seems to be aging backwards like Benjamin Button.  She never wore makeup or fussed too much about weight fluctuation.  My parents were teachers of self-love, self-acceptance, and responsibility.  There were logical thinkers.  You do well in school, get good grades, figure out what you want to do with your life, and pursue it as a career, work hard and BOOM it's all figured out! Well let's just say that big firework they guaranteed was more of a flickering lighter.  

When I was a teen I thought turning 20 was IT.  I would be an adult, can get into clubs, buy cigarettes (though I've never smoked the fact that I could do it was the point), stay out late, drive...it really got no better.  I was finally given some freedoms. I moved away from home for college. I was now in a position to test out all of the lessons my parents taught me. The good, bad, and the ugly, I was going to be living my best life! I mean you are technically an adult.  Now that I'm in my final year of that decade, I wonder, were my 20s all I thought they would be?  

For some reason the second part of that glow up didn't occur to me. I  mean yes, I had more freedom, but I also had more responsibility.  More money meant more bills. And on the wages these employers like to pay kids fresh out of college, the math never added up.  And as much as I was numerically an adult, I was very much trying to find yourself and where I fit in. And for every lit moment, that was a wack one following behind it. Full of extremes.  I either thought too little or too much.  The 20s seem confusing.   You want to play hard, but you're always carrying Sallie Mae or some other burden on your back.  Wants/wishes and reality just don't seem to be on the same page.  Or even in the same book for that matter.  And just when I thought I had it figured out, I didn't, and was back to square one.

Now don't get me wrong, I had my fair share of fun and enjoyed it while it lasted. But I feel good seeing this decade go.

So I get it, it's not so simple as a number. There is a mindset that follows with it. It's grown up. It's a perspective that you wouldn't have any way of knowing at 20 because you need some life experience for it. It's why when you get some money now, it's not always about running out to get the new hot sh*t, it's about prioritizing and saving or investing it. Balance.

30 days from now, I turn 30.  A new decade.  A fresh start.  And I can honestly say I am more myself this year than ever before.  More assured, more confident, more purposeful.  I have the same responsibilities of my twenties, but I know what to do with them now.

In the spirit of blowing out these candles and making that wish on my 30th year, I want to shut out the last 30 days of my 20s with a challenge.  I will do something I enjoy EVERY DAY.  We will call this my 30 for 30. Not an obligation, but something that is truly for me!  I started it off with this blog. Because there's no better way to thank my 20s for all it has taught me and begin my 30s in the best frame of mind. HOV said it best, "30s the new 20...I'm so hot still".

Did you guys do anything special for your 30th birthday? Let me know! And send me some ideas for what I should do during these 30 days! Remember to check INSTAGRAM for updates! 

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